Chapter Two: Gina
A year ago
‘HAPPY Anniversary!’ I jerked back in surprise and closed both of my eyes immediately. Someone shouted inside the room I had entered, along with a loud noisemaker. Some metallic papers flew away around me, scattered on the wood pattern floor. I was still closing my eyes when I heard laughter.
‘Surprise!’ It was Reno.
I opened my eyes after peeking behind my hands. ‘What is it, Reno?’ I exhaled as looking around the room. ‘You know I dislike surprises.’
Reno let out a single smile. A charming smile, I would say. It’s one part of him that I like the most, you know. It just melted my heart effortlessly, and he knows that. ‘I knew, babe. You may not like surprises, but that doesn’t mean I would never give you one, do I?’ He remarked while giving me a bouquet of yellow lilies. ‘Happy anniversary.’
I tried to hold a smile with great effort while taking the posy. Reno couldn’t only smile and get what he wanted from me, right? It’s cheating. ‘Today is an exception.’ I put a smile on my face and hugged him, eventually. ‘Thank you.’
Oh dear, he’s so huggable, and I couldn’t deny that. It’s soft and delicate, and it feels lovely.
Wait, what was I saying?
‘Two years down.’ He spoke on my hair, and I still smiled at his chest. ‘Any hopes?’
I lifted my head and caught his eyes. Squinting mine, I responded, ‘Oh, I have so many hopes for us. I even poured it on the lists.’
Reno frowned his forehead, questioning. The next thing I asked was for him to sit, and I showed a sheet of paper before him. Smiling, I exclaimed, ‘Tadaaa! Our bucket list that made by Gina.’
Reno chuckled. His charming smile always showed up when he was with me. ‘Let me see that. That sounds fishy yet exciting somehow.’
I sat beside him and opened up the paper thus we could see what was on it together. ‘It’s 50 lists already, and I guess… I will give it more. What do you think?’
Reno didn’t answer as he read the lists solemnly. I almost burst into laughter. He looked like a professor or something.
‘Interesting.’ He hummed as reading it. ‘Go to Raja Ampat, Labuan Bajo… get a master’s degree by studying abroad?’ He finished reading and turned to me, looking for certainty. ‘Is that your bucket list… or ours?’
I shrugged and smiled at him. I said, placing my head on his shoulder, ‘You know I’ve always wanted to study abroad, Reno. Interacting with new people, visiting new places I’ve never been to, and learning something new daily. That feeling is–bewitching. And I thought it would be nice if you could join me in studying overseas. Together.’
Reno did not convey. I raised my head to watch him, and all I got was–a nod. ‘Challenge accepted. You and I study together in other parts of the world? I’m captivated.’ He smiled.
I giggled while listening to his answer. ‘I’m not challenging you, but all right. See you when we get to the next unexplored nation.’ I then extended my pinkie finger to him.
‘For real? Pinkie promise?’ Reno guffawed.
‘C’mon, it’s waiting.’ I ignored his scorn as keep handed my pinkie finger.
Reno cleared his throat with his red face due to the laugh before. Our pinkie fingers are tied together at last. ‘See you.’
Today
EVERYTHING was in complete disarray. I wept all these hours when the ambulance began to siren. That night, three unknown men had taken into police custody for the fight. My head was dizzy, and my body was frail unexpectedly.
I couldn’t stand by myself and almost fell a few times when someone caught my arms. ‘Gina, you’re okay?’ I knew this sound.
‘Jonah? Oh dear, thank goodness.’ I was relieved after glimpsing there was someone I knew there. These messed-up circumstances ensued abruptly. I couldn’t think straight or process them all together. All I knew was that Reno was wounded, and he was unconscious.
‘Gina!’ now I heard another familiar sound–it was Susan–and cried all over again while sobbing ‘Reno’ a few times forward, hugging her tight.
Susan patted my back repeatedly. ‘Now, now, Gina. Reno will be okay. He’s a strong lad, remember?’
I almost nodded to believe that soothing words until one of the paramedics reached out to us, asking, ‘Which one of you is the guardian of this man? We need you to join us inside the ambulance.’
One thing led to another, I joined the ambulance to the nearest local hospital. While on the way, I kept holding Reno’s hand while pleading for his good. He was still in total blackout, and the tears kept falling down my cheeks.
Oh dear God, Reno, as if that day was not worst enough. You kept making me agonize with your condition.
After fifteen minutes on the road, we arrived at the hospital. Reno immediately got proper medical care. The tears on my face had dried up, but my mind was blank when the doctor stated that Reno might be unconscious for an undefined time.
‘He has trauma and shock when something hard hit his head.’ I heard the doctor say, ‘We need to wait for him to come back conscious. Meanwhile, his vital status is all good.’
After that, the doctor was gone. Susan handed me a bottle of water, and Jonah seemed to be calling someone–it could be Alice, I’m not sure. I feel my cell phone vibrating inside my purse, but I’m not feeling like picking it up.
‘Please don’t sleep too long, Reno.’ I murmured something, holding his hand. A heart rate monitor that displays his cardiac condition was by his bed. ‘I’ll be waiting for you.’ the tears fell down my cheeks again.
Three months prior
‘SAY ‘cheese’!’ Reno exclaimed as he pressed the shutter button of his camera while capturing me beside the University of Sussex logo. ‘Ah, a decent pic, I guess. Want another one, babe?’ He rushed over toward me so I could see the photos.
I smiled at him. ‘Yes, please?’
He sighed but kept his smile. ‘Anything for you, babe. I also have in mind that you’re looking irresistibly gorgeous in that dress.’ he winked at me after making me flush. Then, he quickly returned to the area where he had been standing to capture me through his camera until I was satisfied.
This black dress with ruffle details on it just made my day even better.
I still remember that time. That moment will forever freeze inside my head, and I will bury it deep inside my heart. We finally got our opportunity to study overseas! I will proudly say that this location is where our campus belongs and where our master’s degree would take place.
That is MAJOR.
We had done arranging our files inside the campus, and we decided to check into my flat on our way back, right after I bought some plants to put extra decorations inside the place. I mean, who doesn’t love plants? They’re green! Thus, I know they could light up the souls with them.
‘Here, these are for you.’ I handed Reno two cactuses that I had bought. ‘Don’t say anything, just accept. They’re easy to look after.’
Reno sighed while holding his protest. ‘Look, Gina, you know I could not look after myself. Now you’re giving me these?’
I smiled at him, ‘They are babies. Don’t be rude to them, right sweethearts?’ I asked the cactuses and channeled my inner motherliness for them. ‘Don’t mind this guy as long as he gives you guys food once a week.’ I leered at Reno, who set a poker face.
We kept walking while holding my babies to my place. The flat was not that big, but it was pretty spacious inside. It was enough for two people. Therefore, according to the landlord, my roommate was on the way here.
‘Where should I put these?’ Reno asked while we stepped inside my flat. ‘You have plenty of them.’
I giggled, ‘Any protests about my babies are not acceptable here, thank you. You can put those two right there,’ I pointed to the window edge, ‘and this one on top of the fridge.’
He began working on setting my babies wordlessly. Then, I started setting up our latest photo beside the University of Sussex icon before, trying to putting it into the frame. ‘Look at this, Reno. Adorable, right?’ I exclaimed at Reno. He finished working on my babies. He sat beside me, staring at the same view.
‘Good job, Gina. Good job to us.’ He smiled at me as if his intense dark eyes sucked me into his soul. ‘You know what, it came out of nowhere. I began that ‘Regina’ would be our daughter’s name. Nice, huh? Short from–Reno and Gina, Regina.’
I believe I was opening my mouth, not saying a single word. Too stunned to speak. ‘Where did you ever think of that before?’
Reno shrugged as if that was not a big deal. ‘Just think about that.’
I could tell my face turned red like boiled food. ‘Then, my babies would be Regina for now.’ I stated, trying hard not to look timid by keeping my eyes away from him.
‘You’re getting nervous, aren’t you?’ Reno asked, starting to giggle. His face before mine suddenly. ‘You can’t lie. It’s reddened.’ then, he guffawed amusedly.
I almost smacked him with a cushion on the sofa when Reno caught my hand. I paused my action, and he stared at me with great assertiveness.
‘I’m going to kiss you.’ Reno whispered, and I felt my body start freezing due to the nervousness.
Reno’s face was before me. I started closing my eyes when we heard someone open the flat’s door abruptly and shouted in shock, ‘Oh, sorry! Did I interrupt something?’
That evening, we met Susan for the very first time.
I still remember that time. That was August 11th, and the summer wind was breezing across East Sussex. The temperature was relatively high than usual in the daytime. Even so, the wind was quite cool. I could still wear my cashmere cardigan under the summer sun.
But that day, the sun did not come out as usual.
‘Gloomy day, huh? Just like our class before.’ Susan drooped her head sluggishly on the cafeteria table. The first class in the morning ate her up today. ‘What are you up to tonight with Reno, Gina? Have you guys planned anything exciting?’
I turned my head to Susan and smiled wistfully. ‘Nope. Sadly, he’d be busy in the library tonight. He got a lot on his plate in this third week of school.’
Susan nodded several times. ‘Well, you know what? We also got plenty of things to do. I told you I would teach you about ‘how to live like locals in Britain’, right?’ She grinned at me, then kept talking with vibrant node, ‘and, tonight, we will try the latest opened pub right down the alley–just upfront our flat. Sounds fun to you?’
Ah, I forgot to tell you. Susan’s family is from Portsmouth. A city places in southern England, and she considers herself lucky to finally be able to live outside the city for the first time. Being a reckless soul with quite a thick southern accent made her want to explore more of her home country.
‘Didn’t we just go to the pub last night?’ I squinted my eyes and tried to recall our random activities lately.
Susan groaned. ‘C’mon, Gina. I bet they have some discounts for students in their opening.’
I held my smile that time, pondering the decision that I should make. ‘Fine, I’ll go.’ I said finally, welcomed by Susan’s exclaim.
‘Another girls’ night!’ she shouted, making almost the entire cafeteria turn their heads and rubbernecked at us, making me lower my head timidly.
‘GINA.’ I knew I heard that voice but somehow I find myself neglecting it. For the record, I enjoyed looking at the view outside the window nearby now. The imagination of being outside, wearing my cashmere cardigan with Reno beside me on the first day of autumn later on… that would be lovely.
‘Gina,’ I turn my head to Susan who put on a flat expression at me, complete with cynical-looking eyes looking through me. ‘Cat got your mind or what?’
I set a thin smile as an apology. ‘Sorry, trying to put me back here.’
Susan let out an exhale and stared at me suspiciously. ‘Why? What’s wrong? This pub doesn’t entertain you enough or–’ an immediate comprehension emerged in Susan’s mind. ‘What is it? You haven’t heard anything from him until now?’
Answering Susan’s question and reluctantly explaining this to you: Reno did not reply to my messages–or hasn’t.
This is weird, I just replied to his chat earlier three minutes ago, and then he’s gone forever. Or, I would say it’s nearly two hours without any notice.
You could call me a possessive girlfriend, but this was something unusual for him.
‘Oh my, Gina, I felt like someone behind me is looking at me right now.’ Susan whispered to me as she wanted to order another drink. I know she’s trying to shift my mind from Reno to this current situation in the pub. I can see her face getting red from a little tipsy. ‘Are you feel it too?’
I lifted my head, then turned slowly to Susan’s backside. ‘Confirmed, a man staring at you from six.’
Susan gasped a little. ‘Is he gorgeous?’
I haven’t answered that because that man finally came to Susan at the perfect time. I let out a soft exhale and decide to step out of the pub, inhaling the warm summer air of the evening. While watching people pass by around me, I took my cell phone and called Reno.
There is a dial tone. But, still, Reno is nowhere to be found.
I stared at my cell phone hopelessly, looking around outside of the pub decorated with yellow lights. Complete with some people with their pair were passing around me, kind of giving a signal about Reno’s nonexistence. That view seemed… flattering, to be honest. Well, only if you see it with your serene hearts with your loved ones.
–Who doesn’t disappear like Reno, I murmured inside my heart.
‘Gina! Come here!’ I lifted my head as hearing Susan exclaim my name from inside the pub in a tipsy voice. ‘You have to check this out, girl!’
I knew I am a good friend because I didn’t want to humiliate Susan inside the pub that was placed not too far from our flat, am I right? I started to turn my body when seeing some people from the end of the alley. They seemed to surround something.
‘A man got wounded!’ a man shouted before me, ‘Somebody–anybody, please call the ambulance!’
I still remember the goosebumps that came unexpectedly. Not the kind of goosebumps that I wanted to feel. That was bad, literally.
In an instant, I turned myself to the crowd at the end of the alley. They were surrounding the man who was wounded, and apparently–he was unconscious–
‘Reno!’ I screamed, immediately recognizing the man’s identity inside the crowd.
I remember I hugged him as tight as I could. I pleaded that it could wake him up, but he wasn’t moving at all. He’s in total blackout.
‘W-what happen? What happened to him? Does anyone call the ambulance already?’ I wailed to the crowd standing there, watching me in sympathy–realizing that this man has a girlfriend who found him in shock.
‘There were some men who hit him hastily, not far from the alley, young lady.’ Somebody who turns out to be an eyewitness said to me patiently. ‘They seemed drunk, attacking this poor man who–I believe–got into an argument at first.’
I couldn’t think straight. This is the worst nightmare that I could ever think of.
That night, after receiving proper medical care, Reno was finally wide awake.
But he could not recognize me.
Present day
Today is the last day of summer. The leaves begin to turn yellow-orange, reddish-orange, or even purely orange–I know I’m not good at explaining colors, but I’m sure you know what I mean.
Autumn is coming. It’s my all-time favorite season.
Today’s wind feels crisp and chill. That is the basis of my reasoning for wearing my coat–starting today. Oh, for another info, it’s been three months since Reno passed out on the Brighton Pier.
‘Gina, you don’t have to come here very often, you know?’ Reno’s mother–or Tante Sisca as I usually called her–said as she covered Reno’s upper body with the new-cleanest blanket. ‘I know you’re busy this semester, so please don’t bother.’
For the record, ‘Tante’ means ‘Aunty’ in English.
I put a gentle smile on my face while changing the water inside the flower vase beside Reno’s bed. ‘It’s okay. This activity does not bother me at all. Watching Reno like this, praying that–,’ I’m clearing my throat groggily, ‘–That someday, he will be with us, eventually.’
Tante Sisca replies with her motherly smile, also watching Reno. ‘I wish I could protect him at all costs. Wherever and whenever he is.’ she let out a tired sigh. ‘Leo–Reno’s dad let me go to Sussex as soon as we received this news. He would know that I won’t have a nice sleep until I get to see my son again.’
‘I’m sorry to only share the bad news with you.’ I respond after some pauses. Reno’s heartbeat filled the entire room. ‘I know as the closest person to Reno in this land, I should have protected him. This whole situation won’t happen.’
Tante Sisca shakes her head slowly, tears filling her eyes. ‘No, Gina, you’ve been exhausted enough to handle Reno. Do not keep blaming yourself.’
I put a soft smile on my face in response while staring at Reno’s body with blank stare. This semester has rolled me enough, and I miss him so badly. On that pause, my mind is taking me back to the time when Reno and I used to study together–not just in the regular library, but in the park.
A garden with wooden benches, complete with someone’s couple’s name engraved — our favorite location to share insights. The crisp air, along with Reno’s unique smell. One of many things that made me miss him the most.
‘You like this scent?’ He asked when we were still in the perfumery shop back in Jakarta, a year ago. We had been here for almost an hour but I still couldn’t decide which perfume that suits him best.
Well, he’s athletic–loves sports, but is also a nerd. He’s unique and one in a million.
I know, I’m just being dramatic over him.
‘Yea, I think I might like it. But not sure… it’s too soapy for you, too cliche.’ I disapproved while kept searching for another one.
Reno didn’t say anything for about four other scents that I sniffed until he exclaimed, ‘Gina! I think this is the one.’
Other customers were staring at us like we were some kind of peculiar creatures. Avoiding those people, Reno smiled widely at me, showing his new scent. ‘Try. I think you’ll like it.’ I still remember the faith inside his voice. ‘Well, I do like it and I’m sure you will too.’
And so finally I sniffed it, and could not agree even more.
It’s woody, it’s fresh, and smells delightful and mysterious at the same time.
When this scent is around, I knew that Reno would come.
I wiped the tears that falling on my face. I became pretty sensitive these days. All those memories that keep soaking inside my head, the chaotic semester, and Reno’s absence made my head feel congested inside.
Reno’s one free hand is quite dry when I touch it. This whole moment has become my new habit every time I came to visit him. Holding one of his hands while staring at him continuously, listening to his heartbeat on the cardiac rate beside the bed. I keep embracing these precious moments and feel grateful to God–thanking Him because He sent Reno to me.
Because we can share our beautiful moments gratefully before.
‘Hi, Reno, wanna hear some news today?’ I talked with my soft voice Reno and smiled in fatigue. ‘My new babies are wonderful. I bought some new autumn plants inside the flat, and they’re getting bigger and healthier.’
Reno’s heartbeat sound fills the entire room again. His eyes are still closing, and still no his charming smile at me.
I keep smiling at him, ‘Well, another piece of news–I think you might like it. Jonah finally declared his love to Alice,’ whispering and giggling alone, I let my imagination take control of Reno’s with me. Chuckling together over our jokes. Like we used to be. ‘And, how do you guess it? Is it a happy ending for them–or not?’
‘I bet they have a happy ending.’ Tante Sisca’s voice filled the entire room all of a sudden. I almost gasped in surprise but handled it casually. ‘Just like both of you. You will have a happy ending.’ She’s smiling at me and her son alternately.
I’m replying with a smile and staring at Reno again. ‘You’re listening quietly, aren’t you? That means you have to wake up, one way or another. Okay?’
Tante Sisca is walking to the loo inside the room, and I’m using that time to raise my body and whisper next to one of Reno’s ears. ‘Also, you know what… Regina is waiting for you to be home.’
After what I said before, all the recent events swirled in my head. After all this time, I always have thinking that my life has become a joke. But this time, I know I can’t take this as a joke either.
I’m telling you now: I see the tears falling from Reno’s eyes.
I gasp, holding my breath. Too stunned and afraid at the same time. Is this even real? Is this a dream? I swear to God that one of Reno’s fingers which is still inside my grip moves afterward.
‘What is it, Gina?’ Tante Sisca shows up from the loo and watches Reno’s hand inside my grip. She’s bewildered a bit and presses the emergency button without saying a word.
‘He will be back, honey.’ Tante Sisca sets up a soft smile at me, and I know she’s trying to calm herself down about that word too.
Five minutes after the doctor came, we can finally see Reno opening his eyes fully.
‘HOW are you feeling, darling?’ I hear Tante Sisca’s voice while I’m trying to keep myself busy with sprucing up some stuff inside the room. ‘Do you still recognize me?’ after a few pauses, she asks the most crucial questions of all.
I swear I can feel the goosebumps to hearing Reno’s voice after this difficult time finally. I’m almost in tears when he says, ‘I’m good, Mom. I’m eventually able to see your beautiful face again, and also listen to your gentle voice. How can I feel ‘not good’?’ still not brave enough to face him, I can sense his warm smile while saying that words. ‘But, still, I feel quite hungry after sleeping for such a long time.’
Tante Sisca’s voicing the laugh that I resist on my face with a smile. He’s Reno that I have always been missing. Oh God, I could cry again.
‘Stay here, will you? I’m gonna catch some delish foods from the cafeteria.’ from the corner of my eyes, I could see Tante Sisca rising from her seat on Reno’s bed. ‘I will be back, okay? Please be good. You’re safe here.’
Reno chuckles. ‘I know. Send me a letter when you arrive, Ma’am.’
Not replying to her son’s joke, Tante Sisca just shakes her head and steals a glance at me. Understanding the assignment, I walk quietly to Reno’s bed–just in case he will be extra cautious because doesn’t recognize me at all.
Okay, now my heart feels aching regarding that fact.
‘Hi,’ I grinned at him, trying not to seem nervous. Oh dear, this is harder than I thought. Why would I greet him like we were on our first date, anyway?
Reno smiled at me. ‘Hi, are you good?’
I groaned inside my heart. ‘I’m the one who should be asking you that.’ I let out a sigh and brace myself to sit on the side of his bed, ‘does your head still hurt?’
Reno stared at me closely as if I was the prey and he was the carnivore. ‘Sometimes it still hurts, sometimes not.’ I nodded several times, still trying to shake the nervousness off my body. ‘How are you, anyway? You come here every day, aren’t you?’
So, he’s the same Reno after three months ago. ‘A few times, yes.’ I chuckled groggily, ‘Just wondering when you’re finally awake.’
‘You know what? While I was sleeping, I had a dream.’ His warm smile appears on his face, and I’m guessing where will this lead to. ‘About a girl.’
While I’m trying not to gasp after hearing that statement, I try to answer casually, ‘Okay, I’m all ears.’
Reno seems to clear his throat several times before he starts telling the stories. I could feel his aura full of warmth fills the entire room. I’ve become overdramatic and sensitive, but God, I just miss him so much.
I might be in tears again.
‘Well, they’re in love for a long time. The boy, who often acts irritating to this girl, but he knows deep inside his heart, he loves her as much as he loves seafood.’ I almost burst into a laugh but made it to just set a smile at him. ‘After being together for the longest time, the boy leaves her deep in sadness. They have never looked at each other since then, but the time of their last meeting is afoot. They’re about to see each other again… as a stranger.’
I inhaled a sharp breath towards the story and have no idea what he is up to.
‘The moment eventually came. They’re meeting each other after never seeing their faces for quite a long time. She never said anything bad about him, though. Instead, somehow, he feels like he knows her forever. He said once, ‘I feel like I know this girl… but I’m not quite sure.’’
‘The times went by. Day after day, year after year, every season turns into a new beginning, and the boy finally realizes something crucial. He ran off abruptly to see her, and when they got time to talk, he said with his confident tone of voice, ‘I know that home might be a place for some people. But for me, the home is a person. And the person is you.’’
My eyes are looking at Reno’s with many questions swirling inside my head.
‘And that is the words that I would say to you, Gina. I know after all this time, after all my darkest times, my home will always be you. It has always been.’ I remember my head translating Reno’s every word as his love declaration after the first time we met, but all I could do just stay still. Processing all of this.
Reno sets up his smile that could bring all the warmth inside this cool weather of autumn. ‘I always love you, Gina. Even when I couldn’t remember who I was, I always recognize you. You’re the girl who loves plants and green, also the girl who said that green is life.’ Now I feel his hands wrapping mine, sending his warmth into this soul who begins to feel empty these days. ‘You’re the mother of ‘Regina’… I bet you remember that name.’ Reno’s smiling widely as he catches my surprised stares.
I gasp and close my mouth, not having enough courage to believe all of this nonsense.
‘Hi, Gina.’ Reno trying to catch one of hand, ‘I remember. I always do.’
After a few moments of pause, I decided to put one of my hands on his cheek which feel entirely heat.
‘Do you say all of that consciously?’ I ask hesitantly, still afraid of all possible heartbreak.
Reno put a nod, and our tears begin filming our eyes. ‘I’m sorry to put you in such rough times.’
He hugs me tightly, with all the affection of him that I’ve known this entire time. With the same aroma that I could not dismiss, no matter how hard I tried the efforts of not thinking of those darkest times.
‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.’ He sobs, and so do I. ‘I miss you, I always have.’
I’m nodding my head several times inside his neck, ‘I know. I miss you too.’
‘Welcome back, My Reno.’ I stare into his eyes, the same red eyes that are filled with tears. ‘Regina always waiting for you to come back.’
Reno smiles softly. ‘I will, together with you, Gina. Thank you for waiting for me.’
Just like that, the door opened. Three heads begin to appear inside the room.
‘A-are we interrupting something?’ Jonah asks groggily, so not like him.
‘Yes, we are. And that means good news.’ Susan smiles cheerfully, almost running to catch me inside the room. ‘Congratulations, lovebirds! I’m in awe.’ now she’s sobbing in our arms.
‘You’re back, dude?’ Jonah greets Reno, still feeling reluctant as he might destroy anything. ‘I’m Jonah–in case you’re still blank.’
The next minute, I see Reno and Jonah finally hugging each other. I’m not sure but I think in boys’ language, it’s kind of congratulating each other that they’re surviving these rough assignments together.
‘I know my boy will always come back with us.’ Tante Sisca smiles with tears filming her eyes, but now with the food in her hands. ‘Welcome back, honey.’
That autumn evening has become my favorite time of all.
Hey Reno, we made it.
I always see you, no matter what.
End.
