Do You Want to Try Again?
Do you ever hear the phrase ‘the efforts will not betray the outcomes?’
Well, I heard that quite often. Especially during my high school years ago (now you can guess my age tho). That phrase became popular among the students because they prepared to face the national examination — and also the university entrance exam — at that time.
We were all became rivals. We’re all trying our best. We’re all believed that the efforts won’t betray the results. Therefore, we studied hard every time, every minute of it became more valuable.
When the announcement came, all the students who got their best results cheered up. Their tears, their prays, their efforts… they all have meanings that match with the phrase that I mentioned in the first place.
The efforts won’t betray the outcomes — hello?
While the other students enjoyed their results, the eliminated students studied harder. Tried hard to get through the university entrance exam they wanted to.
When the time was up, all the remaining was the ‘unsuccessful’ ones.
Can I say that’s the unsuccessful one? Because of what? Failed to achieve what they want? Start it by failed entering the most prestigious university in town or failing to enter the university or the faculty that they wanted to?
But, oh dear, that was just the beginning.
As time goes by, one of the failed students managed to keep going with the results that they’d accepted by that time. She learned in the faculty she never like and never thought before. She struggled each day to keep things that are shattered like broken glass.
When it’s time for the thesis trial, she almost managed it.
Why? She asked, “I’ve done my best, but why?”
Why did everything in her life — everything that she wanted the most to change her life for a better one — always end up with an almost good? Or anything else, she managed to enter a good company after this thesis trial but not in the field that she wanted the most?
In the meantime of the struggles, she asked for help. She felt lost. Her mind, her imaginations, including her motivations — all seems fading away, blurred out into something questionable, “What exactly am I doing right now?”
She managed to reach out for a psychologist to help her. Her mental health needs to be secured.
She needs to be secured.
And, now, when she needed to move out the most, she asked and tried to enter the field that she like.
Will she be able to do that? Will she?
“I don’t want to do this anymore.” she sobbed every single time.
The efforts won’t betray the outcomes, remember? Now she brooding over the phrase, again and again.
She gave her all the best to achieve what she want. But yet, it wasn’t enough. Somehow, it’ll never be enough for her.
When will the things work in a great way for her to come? No one will ever know.
“Do not compare yourself to others’ achievements. Everyone has their own pace.” Someone told her in the middle of noon, in the lunch break — seeking help from each other.
“Yeah, right,” she said, feeling she has to work even harder than before.
But, oh well, how hard is it?
Will the phrase ‘the efforts won’t betray the outcomes’ work for her eventually?
Maybe the answer will be heard like this, “Hard enough to make you cry in joy for the achievements that you’ve been looking for in your entire life.”
Do you want to try again?
